What My Huskies Taught Me
On instinct, authenticity, accountability, and learning to move together.
Running with three Siberian Huskies has taught me something I carry into my work as a therapist: understanding someone doesn't mean expecting them to become someone else.
Alaska, Mira, and Indy are wildly different. Each has a distinct personality, a different relationship with the world, and a different way of showing up for the pack. None of them needs to be less of who they are. But each needs something different from me to help us move forward together.
Running with them has taught me to pay attention to instinct, to recognize the needs beneath behavior, and to hold space for both authenticity and accountability.
Because understanding why someone behaves the way they do doesn't mean every behavior is helpful. And asking for change doesn't have to mean rejecting who they are.
ALASKA · THE PACK LEADER
The Courage to Be Misunderstood
Alaska doesn't care about being liked. She cares about leading her pack.
She's confident, strong-willed, and instinctive. She can also be incredibly sensitive, something that isn't always obvious to someone who only sees her strength. And because she doesn't soften herself to make others comfortable, she can be misunderstood.
Alaska has taught me that authenticity isn't always agreeable. Sometimes the very qualities that make someone a capable leader are the ones others find difficult.
She's reminded me to look beyond how a behavior appears and become curious about what might be happening underneath it.
"Being understood matters more than being universally liked. Strength and sensitivity can exist in the same person."
MIRA · THE TRUSTING HEART
Trust Is Not the Absence of Awareness
Mira can appear blissfully unaware of what's happening around her. But I've learned that her trusting nature shouldn't be mistaken for obliviousness.
She notices more than people might assume. She simply trusts the person holding the leash.
There is something profound about that kind of trust. Mira doesn't need to manage every decision or anticipate every turn. She allows herself to follow because she believes someone else is paying attention.
But that trust comes with responsibility. When I'm holding her leash, it's my job to be worthy of the confidence she's placed in me.
Mira has taught me that trust is not weakness, and surrendering some control doesn't mean surrendering awareness.
"Trust requires courage from the one who offers it and responsibility from the one who receives it."
INDY · THE POWERHOUSE
Energy Needs Direction, Not Suppression
Indy is all power, energy, and enthusiasm.
He's the youngest, and when we run, he brings an incredible amount of drive. But all that energy needs somewhere to go. Without direction, it can become chaotic. With guidance and focus, it's extraordinary.
What I love most about Indy is how willing he is to take direction and how deeply he cares about his pack.
He doesn't need me to take away his intensity. He needs me to help him channel it.
Indy has taught me that accountability doesn't have to mean diminishing someone's personality. Sometimes it's about helping them use their natural strengths in ways that support both themselves and the people around them.
"The goal isn't to become less of who you are. It's to learn how to direct who you are with intention."
The Person Holding the Leash Matters, Too.
I've learned that running with my huskies isn't simply about managing three very different personalities. It's about recognizing what each of them needs from me.
Alaska needs me to respect her instincts without mistaking her independence for a lack of sensitivity. Mira needs me to honor the trust she places in my judgment. Indy needs me to offer direction without extinguishing his enthusiasm.
And I need to remain aware of my own responses, my own instincts, and the responsibility that comes with holding the leash.
That's what I find so meaningful about relationships. We cannot always change someone's instincts, temperament, or history. But we can learn to understand them, take responsibility for our impact, and create ways of connecting that make room for everyone.
"Authenticity deserves space. Accountability gives it direction."